The "Heaven is Hotter than Hell" Paradox

August 25, 2009 at 2:58 am (humor)

From http://www.greatplay.net/uselessia/a…avenhhell.html:

HEAVEN IS HOTTER THAN HELL PARADOX
The Heaven is Hotter than Hell Paradox is a contradiction between stated temputures [sic] listed in the Bible. By computing the temputures [sic] of both Heaven and Hell using the information by the Bible.

Tempurature [sic] of Heven [sic]
The temperature of heaven can be rather accurately computed. Our authority is the Bible, Isaiah 30:26 reads, “Moreover, the light of the moon shall be as the light of the sun and the light of the sun shall be sevenfold as the light of seven days.”
Thus, heaven receives from the moon as much radiation as the earth does from the sun, and in addition seven times seven (49) times as much as the earth does from the sun, or fifty times in all. The light we receive from the moon is one ten-thousandth of the light we receive from the sun, so we can ignore that. With these data we can compute the temperature of heaven: The radiation falling on heaven will heat it to the point where the heat lost by radiation is just equal to the heat received by radiation. In other words, heaven loses fifty times as much heat as the earth by radiation. Using the Stefan-Boltzmann fourth power law for radiation:
(H/E)4 = 50
where E is the absolute temperature of the earth, 300°K (273+27). This gives H the absolute temperature of heaven, as 798°K (525°C or 977°F).

Tempurature [sic] of Hell
The exact temperature of hell cannot be computed but it must be less than 444.6°C, the temperature at which brimstone or sulfur changes from a liquid to a gas. As stated in Revelations 21:8: “But the fearful and unbelieving… shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone.” A lake of molten brimstone [sulfur] means that its temperature must be at or below the boiling point, which is 444.6°C. (Above that point, it would be a vapor, not a lake.)
We have then, temperature of heaven, 525°C (977°F) and the temperature of hell, less than or equal to (=>) 444.6°C (>=832.28°F). Therefore heaven is hotter than hell.
Another good paradox like this is the Omnipotence Paradox.