Well, what would YOU do, if you were God?

January 5, 2008 at 12:17 am (humor)

I’ve been asked this a hundred times over the course of my life. What would I do? Well, if I were God for a day… No, wait. God created the world in 6 days, so, I’ll have to take the same time frame for my explanation. What would I do? This is an answer that cannot possibly be answered in one sitting. Because, my thought today will be different from the thoughts of tomorrow. I honestly don’t think you’re even remotely ready for my “awful, just plain awful demolition of society”.

* Day 1: Change the Constitution of the USA to fit the needs of atheists (I don’t need anyone working for Me). Ban all religions, and strictly enforce all psychiatrists to recognize all religions as delusional disorders (which, they are).
* Day 2: Kill all prisoners in the prisons and jails except those innocent. This will reduce crime and overcrowding in prisons. Also, wipe all rapers off the maps. Kill all those that are starving to death in Africa, and other 3rd-world countries. Why? Well, they are suffering, and Me being the loving God that I am will give them a loving home here in Heaven.
* Day 3: Restore all major forests in the world, implementing a “automatic-growth” feature for restoration until humanity can invent a better way of getting paper. I’m not giving them any favors.
* Day 4: Eliminate all pollution, and eliminate all machines giving off pollution for the sake of cleaning up this planet. Then, “magically” give someone the knowledge and willpower to make something that runs off of anti-matter.
* Day 5: Eliminate all systems of taxing. Also, level out the playing field on getting a job. Make it to where everyone has a chance to get a job.
* Day 6: Input suicide booths in all major cities across the world.

If you look at this from a rational view, you’d see that it’s not crazy, and that the world would be a lot better off. Where it goes from here though, is a different story altogether.


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